


Dawn of Destiny

by fallingintoimagination, maddierose



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: F/M, Politics, Sex, Space Battles, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:42:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24179893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingintoimagination/pseuds/fallingintoimagination, https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddierose/pseuds/maddierose
Summary: The crew of the Rocinante find some unlikely allies on their quest for answers, and soon discover the bonds of family - whether blood or not - will always run deep. Because it's always worth the fight if there's someone or something you're fighting for. Jim/OC; Amos/OC.
Relationships: Amos Burton/Original Female Character(s), Jim Holden/Original Female Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. The Unlikely Survivor

**Warnings: none**

Corporal Nikki Kamal really wanted to finish her shift and take some painkillers, but the fun thing about being part of the Martian Congressional Republic Navy was that your shift didn’t end when the clock said it did. That was precisely why Nikki found herself responding to a summons to the bridge fifteen minutes after she was meant to have clocked off. She could have been cheeky and ignored it, but the summons came from Captain Theresa Yao herself.

“Corporal Kamal.” Captain Yao examined the younger woman as Nikki inclined her head, clasping her hands behind her back and trying desperately to think what she was in trouble for this time. Although even Yao said Nikki was one of their best and brightest at 22 years old, the young woman’s propensity for mischief drove the commanding officers to the brink of their patience.

“I heard that we took in the  _ Knight _ .”

It had been all over the news. A man named James Holden, an officer aboard a now-destroyed ship called the  _ Canterbury _ , was openly blaming Mars for the attack. The MCRN battleship had since captured one of the ice hauler’s shuttles, the  _ Knight _ . Nikki wondered what Yao intended to do with the crew, however it wasn’t her place to ask. Lieutenant Lopez would make the call on that one.

“We have him and the others in custody, but there’s something you should know.” Yao took a deep breath. “The crew’s pilot is Alex Kamal.”

Nikki stiffened. She hadn’t seen her dad since she was fifteen or sixteen, a few years before she left Earth to travel and finally join the MCRN. The decision to accept her had come with difficulty – Martians were proud, and Nikki’s half-Earther heritage meant that there were some who questioned her acceptance. Alex and Nikki’s mum, Prisha, had been separated since Nikki was a small child – and he’d rarely visited.

“Oh.” She couldn’t think what else to say to the odd and frankly annoying situation. She resisted the urge to reach up and rub at her aching temples.

“I thought I should inform you in case things became complicated. He’s being treated as a guest, as befits a man who served the MCRN for twenty years and was honourably discharged.”

“Right.” Nikki vaguely remembered that her dad had history with MCRN too, although that certainly wasn’t why she’d joined up. She’d had a promising future on Earth, more promising than most. Yet she’d abandoned that in favour of exploring the Martian side of her heritage. Had it been the right choice? Some days, Nikki still didn’t know.

Yao sighed. “I know this could be hard for you…”

“With respect, Captain, it really isn’t.” Nikki straightened up. “Alex and I aren’t close. He and Mum were younger than I am now when I was born, and he wasn’t exactly up for being a young dad. He hasn’t had much to do with me, and I doubt that’s going to change.”

“Lieutenant Lopez has requested that you become a part of the interrogation.”

The blunt words made Nikki frown. So that was what Yao thought would be hard for her. It made sense – Lopez was clearly considering whether Nikki’s presence might coax answers out of Alex. As uncomfortable as the situation was, Nikki knew that a request from a superior officer was never a  _ request _ .

“Can I at least catch some sleep first? I have a killer headache.”

“Of course.” Yao nodded fervently. “Your shift is over for the day. Dismissed, Corporal Kamal.”

* * *

Nikki was woken unceremoniously by a great shuddering that threw her from her bunk and onto the floor. Luckily her headache was already gone, because the fall wouldn’t have much helped. Rubbing her eyes and adjusting to her surroundings, Nikki realised that the lights had gone blue and the alarms were sounding throughout the ship. Instantly alert, she pushed herself to her feet and quickly stripped out of her pyjamas, forsaking them for her MCRN uniform.

Pushing open the door and entering the corridor, Nikki tensed when she saw Lieutenant Lopez marching toward her in an environment suit. She swallowed hard. Had she missed the interrogation? Was he pissed that she overslept? However, the fact that the lights were flashing red and blue around them, the ship lurching every now and then, indicated that they currently had much bigger problems.

“Are we under attack?”

“Corporal Kamal, with me, now.” Lopez pressed a suit onto her, which she struggled to pull on while following him. Attaching the helmet was probably the hardest part while attempting to keep at a brisk walk. They were joined by a handful of others, including a man that Nikki recognised even through the glass of his helmet to be James Holden.

“What the hell is he doing here? Is he responsible for this?”

“Holden needs to be escorted off this ship,” Lopez stated, brushing past Nikki. There was clearly no time for a lengthy discussion. Yet there was still time for Nikki to shoot James a filthy look. “We are under attack by the same ship that destroyed the Canterbury, and he is the only one who can directly testify to that.”

Nikki opened her mouth to ask more questions, however when they rounded the corner they were confronted by people in environment suits of their own – definitely not the MCRN kind. Lopez pressed a gun into Nikki’s hands and she began opening fire. She’d never killed anyone, and the thought that she might do so today made her feel sick to the stomach.

The sound of quick footsteps caught her attention even over the gunfire, and Nikki whirled around to see James making a break for it. Shoving herself up and sprinting after him, Nikki caught him by the arm.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not leaving without my crew.”

Nikki paused when she remembered that crew included Alex. Whether she and her dad were close or not, was she really willing to let him die here? Lopez and the others were crouched over one of the fallen enemies, Lopez attempting to question the person in their dying moments.

“Let’s go.” Lopez and the others headed over to Nikki and James. Judging by his tone and the still body of the person he’d been interrogating, Nikki guessed that the enemy had died before they could reveal anything of use.

“Please, you have to help me get my friends. You wouldn’t leave one of yours behind.”

Lopez’s eyes narrowed through the glass. “We are Marines, we’ve sworn to die for each other if we have to. You barely know those other people.”

“They’re only here because of me.”

“He’s right.” Nikki’s words ensured silence fell between the two men as Lopez stared her down. No doubt Yao had caught him up on Nikki’s own connection to a certain member of James’s crew. Nikki wondered where Yao was now, if she was even still alive. “You know why I can’t leave them too.”

“What are you talking about?” James’s brow furrowed. “You don’t know any of them at all.”

“There’s a pilot among them, right? Alex Kamal?” Nikki asked, earning a slow nod from him. She ignored Lopez’s restraining hand. Just hours ago, he’d wanted to use her to get at Alex, so why didn’t he want her to reveal her identity now? “He’s my father.”

“Corporal Kamal, meet us at the entrance to the hangar bay.” Lopez’s command made Nikki spin to face him, effectively cutting off any response James might have offered. “We’ll touch base when we’re on our way. Be careful.”

* * *

“Fuck.” Nikki examined her comms when she read the message about Yao setting condition zero. “ _ Fuck _ .”

Heavy footsteps alerted her to Lopez, James and several others that must be the members of his crew. Nikki scanned their faces curiously despite herself, her gaze settling upon a man who had to be Alex. He was being heavily supported by another man, and her stomach twisted at the thought that he might be injured. As Alex almost collapsed, the other guy held him upright.

“Hey, hey! Don’t you quit on me.”

“Go!” Lopez ordered. Alex and the other man began to cross the bridge first, with James and the woman not far behind. Nikki swallowed the lump in her throat and adjusted the settings on her gun. Maybe this wasn’t what she was used to, but it was what she was trained for. What good was she if she couldn’t defend these people – people who were clearly important and relevant to what was happening, people who needed to testify that this wasn’t Mars’s fault.

Lopez and Nikki opened fire around them to protect them from being shot, before an explosion behind them sent both of them plummeting down onto the bridge. Easing herself up, Nikki glanced behind her at Lopez, who was rummaging around in his suit for something.

“What are you doing?” Nikki hauled herself up, prepared to engage in cover fire once again.

“Nikki.” Lopez gripped her wrist, forcing her hand open and pressing something small into it. She clutched onto it tightly, like it was a lifeline. “You need to go with them. You have to survive this. MCRN Command may not listen to them, but they will to you.”

_ We are Marines, we’ve sworn to die for each other if we have to. _ Lopez’s words of not even half an hour ago came back to her with a vengeance.

“No.” She shook her head fervently. “You…you’re the ranking officer here, you need to…”

“That’s an order, Corporal Kamal.” Lopez pushed her away from him, and Nikki knew that there was no time for argument. Her entire body shaking with trepidation, she clicked on her magboots and sprinted down the bridge toward the others. She spun around just in time to see Lopez get shot in the chest.

Nikki’s scream rang through the hangar bay. She couldn’t do this by herself, she didn’t know how to. Someone picked her up as easily as she was a doll, hauling her into the ship and tossing her unceremoniously into a chair. It was the big guy, the injured one. Nikki took off her helmet and strapped herself in with shaking fingers as Alex paused to look at her.

“You…you’re…”

“Nikki Kamal.” It wasn’t the time for this conversation, but when was it ever going to be. Nikki looked up at him with tears welling in her eyes. “I’m your daughter.”

He clearly remembered her. It had been a while, but not long enough that he wouldn’t recognise her. Alex seemed to want to say something, his expression emotional, but James caught him by the back of the shirt and tossed him up to the pilot’s seat.

“GO!”

Nikki opened her hand to examine what Lopez had put there, his dying command for her to accompany the others. Why her? Was it because she was Alex’s daughter as well as a member of MCRN? She didn’t understand, and she probably never would. As they flew out of the hangar bay and Donnager vaporised behind them, Nikki realised that she was the ship’s sole survivor.

It meant something. It had to. She might be young and she might be frightened, but she was important. Perhaps it was because of her family connections, on both sides. Lopez had seen something in her, something she didn’t yet. Even as she grieved for the loss of her crew, Nikki examined the data cube that Lopez had given her, and knew it was up to her now to decide what to do with it.

* * *

Alex looked down from his post at the pilot’s seat to the dark-haired girl in the chair beside Jim’s. She was oddly silent, tears streaming down her face as she screwed her eyes shut. It was hard to believe that this was his daughter, his Nikki. She might wear the uniform and play the part of the fearless Marine, but the girl he saw in the chair down there was a scared kid who’d lost her entire crew and wasn’t sure how she was going to handle things.

She eased herself up from the chair, only for her knees to buckle, causing her to collapse in a heap on the ground. Naomi was by her side in an instant, helping the younger woman to her feet and putting her back in her chair, examining her closely. Alex couldn’t help but feel overcome with concern.

“What’s the matter? She okay?”

Naomi was too busy prying Nikki’s suit off to answer immediately, but the young woman’s cry of pain wasn’t a good sign. Flicking some of the controls to automatic, Alex swivelled in his seat. Nikki’s entire shirt was dark with blood, her teeth gritted against the pain as Naomi lifted the fabric to examine the wound. Alex was no med-tech, but it didn’t look good.

“It looks like you’ve still got a bullet lodged in there.”

“Can’t we just take it out?” Alex climbed down the ladder to stand beside Naomi.

“It’s not that easy.” Naomi glanced over her shoulder at him, expression grim. “From what I can see, where the bullet’s lodged, it’s going to cause a lot of bleeding. If the wound’s internal, we can’t just patch it up.”

“I’m fine,” Nikki hissed through clenched teeth, although it was obvious that she was anything but.

Alex was aware that the ship had state of the art medical facilities. Naomi had managed to use them to fix up Amos’s broken leg. Yet none of them were surgeons, or knew how to operate surgical equipment. They didn’t know for certain how complicated Nikki’s wound was, but it would need a med-tech or another sort of medical professional to look at it. Right now, they were weighing all of their options, but Nikki’s condition made that decision all that much more urgent.

“We’ve got an incoming message,” Naomi announced, tapping into a few things as Amos and Jim joined her and Alex over at the screen as an unfamiliar setting, yet a very familiar man, flashed up in front of them.

“Survivors of the  _ Donnager _ , my name is Fred Johnson, director of operations here at Tycho Station.”


	2. The Mission

**Warnings: none**

Tasya crossed her arms over her chest as Fred Johnson stood in front of her. She knew that he was about to order her to patch up someone important, or he wouldn’t have bothered to come down in person.

“The girl’s the sole survivor of the  _ Donnager _ crew.”

So her inner musings were correct. Did this mean she had to be extra careful and pleasant? “So, she’s important.” 

“Yes. And we need their help as much as they need ours.” Fred informed her, answering her unspoken question.

“Lead the way, then.” Tasya told him, gesturing for him to walk ahead of her.

He took her down to the infirmary, not that he needed to actually lead her. She knew where it was. She had saved, and lost, a lot of people in those rooms. Sometimes she wondered how she had to strength to walk through the threshold, especially after brutal fights and accidents. She examined the young woman that sat on the bed, throwing a stress ball up and down.

“Who is this?” One of the men in the room questioned. She could tell from his aura of authority that he was their captain.

“Tasya Michaelson. She’s a medic.” Fred introduced her. She didn’t bother to wait for the other man to speak his name, moving straight over to her patient without greeting anyone in the room. She wasn’t in the mood for idle chit chat. She wanted to examine the girl and get her fixed up as soon as possible. The girl watched her carefully, and from what Tasya could see, she didn’t appear to have too much external damage.

“So, am I gonna die?”

“I’m going to try and make sure you don’t die.” Tasya assured her with a small smile, trying to make it as warm as possible.

Fred hovered behind her. Something she wished he wouldn’t do while she was working. “Corporal Kamal. Your mother is Prisha Avasarala?”

“Yep.” The young woman lying on the bed confirmed.

Tasya continued her examination as silence fell over the room. Her fingers danced over the other woman, who would squeeze the stress ball harder if Tas hit a sore spot, something she hadn’t failed to notice.

“Can you tell me where it feels the worst?” 

“You’re her father.” Fred turned to the eldest of the crew, who was hovering almost as much as he was, his expression creased with worry. The other man nodded, barely lifting his eyes from his daughter’s face as he glanced at Fred.

“I am.”

“She looks like you. Also the way you hover, and same last name.” Fred had noted all of that and put the information together before speaking the observation out loud. Tasya was only half listening to their conversation as she went over her girl’s ribs, grabbing a syringe.

“I’m going to give you a shot of pain relief. It’ll act as a sedative as well.” 

The girl nodded, already attempting to stifle a yawn. “So I’m gonna get sleepy?”

“Yes.” Tas confirmed, waiting for the other girl to pass out before she began to clean and stitch the wounds. It was easier to work with patients who were asleep.

* * *

Nikki jerked awake and was immediately at odds with her surroundings. This wasn’t her cabin on the Donnager. The knowledge that they’d come to Tycho Station came flooding back, but Nikki was far from assured by that. She realised that she wasn’t alone – a dim bulb glowed at her bedside, and Alex was sitting in the chair there.

“Nikki?” He frowned as she pressed her face into her hands, the realisation of how alone she was hitting her like a battering ram. The rest of the crew were all dead. Lopez had ensured that she, a child of Earth and Mars, had survived the battle – along with the data cube he’d pushed into her hand.

Nikki had a fair idea of what was on the data cube, although she couldn’t be certain. During battle scenarios, data was often automatically recorded by the large ships to ensure there wasn’t a ‘he said, she said’ when it came to enemy attacks. What Nikki had in her pocket was the truth of what had happened on the  _ Donnager _ , but all she could think about was what it had cost.

“They’re all gone.” Nikki drew her face from her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks. “They’re all dead.”

“I know.” Alex rested a hand on her shoulder, but she drew away from him. The sudden movement caused her healing wound to sting. Her dad had been a stranger to her for some years now. She didn’t need him giving her false sympathy. He hadn’t known her crew. He didn’t even really know her.

“You don’t give a shit,” she spat, “You never did.”

“Nikki,” Alex sighed, but hurt stung in his dark eyes at her accusation. Despite her open hostility, he moved out of the chair and reached forward to hug her tight. Although Nikki’s initial instinct was to push him away, she suddenly realised how much she needed this. The warm comfort was something she couldn’t pull away from, and she relaxed as Alex rubbed her back as she sniffed.

“You’re safe now.”

“I don’t want to be safe,” Nikki insisted, “I want to make sure their sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.”

“We’ll make sure of that,” Alex assured her.

“You ever miss Mars?” Nikki drew back to observe him with wide brown eyes. Everyone always said that she favoured her dad more in terms of her appearance.

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “Sometimes.”

A wry smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Mum says that you always preferred space.”

It was why Alex Kamal and Prisha Avasarala could never have lasted. Their relationship had been based on passion – and also rebellion on Prisha’s part. The daughter of a high-ranking Earth diplomat sleeping with a young Martian MCRN officer. Nikki had been unexpected but welcome, until Alex and Prisha could no longer pretend that they didn’t want different things. Alex yearned for the vast reaches of space, while Prisha was content to remain on Earth.

Nikki had always been like Alex in that regard too. While politics had been Prisha’s calling, her daughter was restless. Being a child of mixed heritage had meant Nikki didn’t truly belong on Earth or Mars, but in space, she felt as though none of that mattered. The Donnager crew had been uncertain of her initially, but in the end, she’d been one of them.

“I guess that’s true.” Alex watched as Nikki lifted up the hem of her shirt to inspect where her wound had been patched up. “Their medic did a good job.”

“I’ll be good as new.” Nikki tugged her shirt back down again, very carefree for a young woman who’d lost a lot of blood not too long ago.

“Soon.”

Her brows furrowed. “I’m fine.”

“Nikki.” Alex’s voice was firm, and for a moment he really did sound like a parent berating their child – even if that ‘child’ was 22 and an adult. “You need rest.”

“Okay, okay,” Nikki grumbled, tugging the blankets back over herself. She waited for Alex to get up and leave, but instead she heard the chair creak as he sat back down beside the bed. She realised that her dad wasn’t going anywhere – and oddly enough, part of her was alright with that.

* * *

Tasya glanced at the hulking male who paced just behind her as she packed up her kit and medical instruments. He was a big guy, an Earther. She had learned his name was Amos.

“What was wrong with her?”

“A few things. Nothing that won’t heal.” Tasya explained to him, throwing out the medical tools she wouldn’t be able to use on other patients. She hadn’t conventionally studied, but she had read enough to know that there were some tools that couldn’t be reused.

“She’s a tough kid, from what I’ve seen.” Amos nodded, seeming comforted by her assessment. “You patch up a lot of sick people?”

“It’s my job around here.” Tas explained to him. She had always patched people up, but Fred’s resources meant she was able to read and study it more. Most of her learning was hands-on, but she’d saved a lot of people doing it.

“Sounds like an awful job to me.” Amos commented as he sat down, watching her intently.

Tasya shrugged. It had been harder at first, but now she was used to it. She did what she could to save people, but sometimes it was easier to make them comfortable until they died, rather than fighting to save them if they couldn’t be. “It can be hard. You can’t save everyone.”

“Sounds like life in general.” He muttered, watching as she finished cleaning up. “You’ve had it rough.”

“Not as rough as others.” She countered, not wanting to remember the situations that had led her to where she was now in life.

“But rougher than most.” Amos observed her for another moment before speaking again. “Sometimes you can just tell.”

Tasya arched an eyebrow as she sat across from him. She was curious now. “And what makes me so easy to read?” 

“Not just you. When you grow up in places like I did, you learn to read most people.” Amos explained to her, which only sparked her curiosity more. She guessed he hadn’t had it easy either, and had no doubt had to learn how to adapt and read people as a survival skill.

“Seems like you had it rough as well.”

“Yeah, I did.” He nodded, looking up as she handed him a cup of tea.

“It’s why I do what I do. If I can help one person to make life a bit easier, then it’s worth it.” She explained. It was why she had always worked to help people. Life was hard for most, and if she could make it slightly easier for someone, she would do that.

“Earthers either have it easy or they don’t, I’ve found. Belters usually don’t.” He sipped the tea, finding the taste to be something he wasn’t used to. It was sweet, but not like the tea he usually drank. “Fred Johnson seems to trust you. How long have you worked with him?”

Tas had to think on it for a moment before she answered. She wasn’t quite sure of the exact length, but she guessed it had to be a few years now. “Few years.”

“Before or after he took out Anderson station?” Part of her had known he would ask that question, most did. Almost silently judging her for working with a man who had done that, but she owed him.

“After.” She finished her tea, placing the mug on the table beside her.

Amos nodded, raking a hand through his hair as he realised the question probably wasn’t the best thing to ask. “That wasn’t really fair of me to ask.”

“You were curious.”

* * *

Nikki shifted uncomfortably in the plastic chair she’d been seated in upon entering Fred Johnson’s office. She’d requested a meeting with the head of Tycho Station before she could give herself further time to contemplate what she was about to do. The decision had been one she’d ruminated over in her waking hours, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have any doubts about it.

“Corporal Kamal.” Fred entered the office, closing the door behind him. As Nikki went to rise, he held up a hand. “No, don’t exert yourself, you’re still healing. I believe you wanted to speak to me about something important.”

“Yes.” Nikki watched as Fred sat down on the other side of the desk, observing her intently. “You already know that I’m the only crew member of the  _ Donnager _ to survive the attack. My superior officer, Lopez, did everything in his power to ensure I made it out alive.”

She knew pressing the importance of her staying alive was bound to raise questions. Why had the MCRN needed one of their own to live, and an officer who was half-Earther at that? But despite Nikki’s service, her loyalty was not solely to Mars. Perhaps the reason she’d been allowed to survive was precisely because she was a child of two worlds, two planets with tension already brewing between them.

“They already had Holden and his crew to testify.” Fred’s brow furrowed. “Was there a reason your survival was so important?”

Reaching into her pocket, Nikki withdraw the data cube and placed it on the table. Fred stared down at it, realisation dawning in his eyes. They both knew what this cube was, even if neither of them really knew what was on it just yet.

“Where did you get this?”

“Lopez gave it to me.” Nikki leaned back in her chair. “It was important to him. I don’t know why, I don’t know exactly what’s on it.”

Fred examined her closely, surprise evident in his expression. “But why would you give this to me? You’re MCRN. Why would you entrust something like this to the Belt?”

“Because the Belt isn’t affiliated with Mars or Earth.” Nikki shrugged her shoulders, trying to ignore the weight of her choice bearing down on her. “If I chose Earth or Mars, the other would condemn me for it. Why not put it in neutral hands?”

“You don’t even know what’s on this cube,” Fred pointed out.

“No,” Nikki admitted, easing herself to her feet. Her wound was starting to become more irritating than painful. “But Lopez wanted me alive to deliver it. I’m not able to analyse the data myself, but I’m sure you have people that can.”

Nikki started for the door. Whatever happened now was up to Fred. She just hoped that her decision didn’t come back to bite her.

“Are you going to go back to Mars?” Fred asked, causing her to look over her shoulder when she reached the doorway. “Re-join the MCRN, head out on another ship and put the attack behind you?”

“No.” Nikki’s dark eyes burned with ferocity. “I’m going to find the fuckers who did this to my crew, and make them pay for it.”

* * *

“How are you feeling?” Alex sat down beside his daughter, watching as she picked through the small meal she’d been allocated. The  _ Rocinante _ crew – as their commandeered vessel was now known – were heading out to investigate what had become of Lionel Polanski, a missing OPA operative who’d been sent out on a mission by Fred Johnson.

“I’m doing okay.”

“Injuries healing?” Alex pressed. He couldn’t help but feel concerned. Although he trusted that the Belter med-tech had done her job, he knew that Nikki had been in a critical condition when they’d first arrived at Tycho Station.

She gave him a withering look. “Alex, I’m 22, not 12. I’ll be fine.”

_ Alex _ . Not ‘dad’. He supposed he couldn’t expect more than that from her, not when he’d been part of her life so intermittently these past few years. Silence stretched between them for a few moments as Nikki shovelled down the last of her meal, turning her attention back to him.

“What made you decide to go hauling in asteroids?”

“Does it matter?” He wasn’t really sure that he wanted to get into this discussion, especially when it meant admitting that he’d basically abandoned his wife and son. He didn’t think that talk would go well with Nikki, who already felt pretty let down by him.

“Just making conversation.” Nikki’s tone was frustrated as she exchanged her empty meal tray for the stress ball she’d been given. “Fuck.”

Alex frowned at her sass. “No need for the attitude, kiddo.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I’m not a kid.”

“You are to me.” He remembered being her age, although at that point Nikki had been a toddler. He’d been a kid with a kid, but he’d been head over heels for Prisha and adored Nikki.

“Whatever, old man.” Nikki bounced her stress ball off the wall, catching it neatly in the palm of her hand as it ricocheted off the smooth white surface.

Alex attempted to change the subject. “We’re leaving soon.”

“Guessing I’m coming too.” Nikki kept bouncing the ball off the wall. Alex wanted nothing more than to just catch it and confiscate it, make her actually pay attention to him and this conversation, but he knew that it wouldn’t go well. “Gotta keep Mars in check, right?”

He knew she’d wanted to go after the people who’d taken out her crew, not go after some person called Lionel Polanski. She didn’t care about the  _ Scopuli _ or its mission.

“What, no smart comments?” Nikki asked, raising her eyebrows.

“No point.” Alex shrugged. He wondered if his daughter got her attitude from him, or Prisha. Maybe an unholy combination of both. “You’d just try and be a smartass back.”

Nikki considered this and then nodded. “Yeah, I mean, true.”

“Get some more rest.” Alex got to his feet. They’d be leaving shortly and he didn’t really want his kid injured on the journey. She was making a speedy recovery, but he still noticed her wincing when she made sudden movements.

Nikki rolled her eyes. “With the amount of rest you want me to get, may as well be in a coma.”

Alex couldn’t help but grin. “Well, it’d shut you up for once.”

* * *

"Need any help?" Amos asked Tasya as he moved behind her, watching as she moved about the small kitchen, wiping up the mess that the crew had left after dinner.

"If you want to." Tasya glanced over her shoulder at him, going back to where she was cleaning the dishes under the warm water. She could hear him clattering about behind her, placing the rest of the dirty dishes on the bench beside her. "Thanks."

“You're welcome." He replied as he sat down, watching her push her hair from her face.

Tasya finished cleaning up, drying her hands on a towel and getting out two glasses. "Want a drink of something?"

"Water's fine." Amos nodded, leaning against on the table. "Thanks."

Tasya sipped her own water, glancing across at Fred who was waiting in the doorway for her. She said a quick goodnight to Amos before moving over to him, placing her glass in the sink as she did.

"Tasya. You seem to get on with them alright."

Tasya shrugged, leaning against the doorframe as she watched Fred. "I get on with most people."

"They need a medic. You should go with them." He suggested to her, gesturing for her to following him down the hall towards her room, not doubt wanting to avoid being heard by Amos.

"Is that so I can spy for you?" Tasya arched an eyebrow, already guessing his plan.

Fred nodded in confirmation. "We don't know much about them. They could be useful, but they could also be dangerous."

"Alright." She sighed, knowing she owed it to him. She owed him more than most did, and she wasn’t one to not pay someone back. "You can pitch it to them."


	3. Deadweight

**Warnings: none**

Tasya scrubbed at the blood on her hands, making sure to get it out of all the crevices in her skin. She had just finished patching Nikki up again, and she wished the other woman would sit still and stop pulling her stitches. Sure, it gave her something to do, but the wound wasn’t going to heal if she didn’t let it. Tasya let out a heavy sigh as she began to pack away her med kit, raking a hand through her hair and scowling when she noticed blood on her shirt.

“You okay?”

Tasya jumped at the male voice behind her, glancing over to see Amos leaning in the doorway. She nodded, gesturing to the blood on her shirt.

“Yeah, just got blood on me.”

“Heard she reopened the wound.” He didn’t seem surprised that Nikki had reopened the wound, considering she wasn’t sitting still. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Tasya shrugged, packing away the rest of the gear and turning to face him. “She’s not one to sit around, is she.”

“Nah she’s not.” He agreed, though he knew where she got it from. “Like her dad.”

“It’s a good thing.” She pointed out. Despite the fact that Nikki kept pulling her stitches, it spoke wonders for how dedicated she was. “Means they’re hard workers.”

“Seems like she drives her dad up the wall.” They’d all noticed Alex had become more tense since his daughter had arrived on board, even if it had been a long time since he had spent time with her. “He hasn’t seen her since she was a teenager. He was young when she was born.”

“Still.” Tasya moved towards the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee machine. “Want one?”

“Sure.” Amos nodded, happily taking the cup that was offered to him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled, sitting up on the bench and sipping at her drink. Amos finished his own coffee quickly, moving over to wash the mug without a sound. Tasya raised her eyebrow as she watched him. “You good?”

“I’m fine.” He assured her, watching as she hopped off the beach and flipped her hair from her face. “I should get back to work.”

“Or we could talk a while longer.” She suggested. She hadn’t made the effort to really speak with the people on the ship, but she wanted to make the effort to begin to get to know them. “Tell me about yourself.”

Amos raised an eyebrow, leaning against the kitchen bench. “What’s there to know? I’m a mechanic.”

“So you’re good at fixing things.” She assessed, although she knew there more to it than that. It was a difficult skill to master, and Amos seemed pretty good at it. He may have been a bit of a beef cake, but he wasn’t unintelligent.

“Most things.” He chuckled before his expression turned more serious. “Did you come with us to keep an eye on the kid?”

“No. I wanted to get out of that place and you needed a medic.” She explained to him, letting out a heavy sigh. She’d been stuck in one place for too long, and it had made her grow bored and tired. She wanted to see other worlds, not just live in a bubble of safety her whole life. “I hope I can be an asset to the crew.”

“I’m sure you can be.” He told her, flopping down in one of the chairs, watching as she began to clean up.

* * *

Doing nothing didn’t suit Nikki, but she had been confined to her bed again after pulling her stitches. The stinging pain had been worth it for the few moments of freedom she’d been allowed before Tasya had insisted that she remain on bed rest. As a young woman who was used to being up and about, on her feet all day, being stationary didn’t agree with her – and yet, what choice did she have?

“Nikki.” Alex strode into the room. It had become apparent that, since his daughter had joined them indefinitely, he intended to repair their estranged relationship. Despite wanting to immediately forgive him, Nikki knew it wasn’t so easy.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She rolled her eyes and flopped back against the pillows, knowing that she was about to be chastised for being active when she should be trying to let her wounds heal.

“I told you to rest.”

“And I did.” She shrugged. The  _ Rocinante _ was a lot smaller than the  _ Donnager _ , and Nikki found herself almost claustrophobic. She hadn’t expected that exploring the small ship would result in her doing any damage, but maybe she’d been too enthusiastic. “But then I got bored.”

“You need to heal,” he insisted, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not a porcelain doll,” Nikki snapped, drawing further back. She didn’t want to be treated like a baby, especially by a man who’d only ever been part of her life here and there.

“I’m aware,” Alex drawled, raking a hand through his hair. “I’m not treating you like one. You’ll heal slower the more you push yourself. You’re lucky the medic is with us, we can’t patch you up as well as she can.”

Nikki sighed. “I’m gonna be fine.”

“I hope so.”

“Why do you even care?” she demanded, folding her arms over her chest.

Alex’s brow furrowed. “You’re my kid.”

“Guess so,” she muttered, before raising her voice so that Alex could hear what she had to say. “Mum says you were all too happy to bail and go off to space.”

Alex and Prisha had been twenty when Nikki had been born. She couldn’t even imagine being a parent at that age, but as far as she was aware, it had been a conscious decision that they had both made. Alex had just apparently gone back on it, breaking up with Prisha and heading to space when Nikki had still been a baby. She had seen him intermittently after that.

“I was a kid myself. Didn’t know how I’d go being a parent.”

“You just didn’t wanna take responsibility for me at all,” Nikki accused, and to his credit, Alex didn’t attempt to deny it.

“I regret it,” he admitted. The remark surprised her. She hadn’t expected Alex to argue with her – he had a cheery personality, aspects of which she could see in herself at times – but she also hadn’t thought he would be in agreement.

“So what, you wanna be a dad now?” She arched her eyebrows, aware that Alex had since married a Martian woman – but that hadn’t ended well, either. “You have another kid on Mars. Don’t seem to try with him.”

Hurt flashed in Alex’s dark eyes, and Nikki wished she hadn’t pushed so hard. His relationship with his wife and son was none of her business, and it had been a particularly low blow. Nonetheless, Alex didn’t comment on it, and somehow that made Nikki feel even worse.

“Need anything?” he asked.

“Alcohol.” She just wanted to drown her sorrows, and avoid the memories of loss for a bit longer. Maybe she couldn’t explore, but she couldn’t remember being told that she wasn’t able to get drunk.

“Okay.” He paused a moment. “Can we share?”

“Rum or brandy?” She tried to suppress her astonishment that Alex wanted to drink as well. Didn’t he have a ship to pilot? She wasn’t one to question his decisions, though.

“Rum.”

“Alright.”

Alex left in search of the beverage of choice, returning with a bottle and two shot glasses. Nikki certainly didn’t think this was a part of the recovery process, but when she slept, she still remembered losing her friends and crew. She poured herself some rum and took a shot, enjoying the way it burned down her throat.

“Better?” Alex asked, doing a shot of rum himself.

She nodded slowly. “I think so.”

Alex grinned. “Look at us getting drunk together.”

“Speak for yourself, old man.”

When Nikki had first left Earth, she’d spent a bit of time in the Belt with people her age. Drinking had practically been part of the culture, and she’d wound up with more than her fair share of hangovers. Of course, that had all changed when she’d joined the MCRN.

“I can hold my liquor better than you,” Alex insisted.

Nikki scoffed. “As if.”

“I’ll prove it.”

Several shots later, Nikki was beginning to believe her dad might be right. She was starting to feel gross, and her head was spinning. Rum had never really been her drink of choice, and the burn as she downed it wasn’t feeling fantastic now. Although she was reluctant to admit defeat, she paused as she raised another shot to her lips.

“I don’t feel so good.” The alcohol caught up with Nikki fast, and she had the feeling that it was going to come right back up. Alex was quick to find and hand her a bucket, and Nikki vomited, coughing as her dad rubbed her back. She glared at him, taking in the amused smile that curved his lips.

“You are a terrible influence.”

Alex shrugged. “I win.”

Nikki shook her head at his lack of sympathy. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

Nikki threw up again, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. Maybe this had been a bad idea, even worse than exploring the ship and reopening her wound. At least that wouldn’t result in a throbbing head and one hell of a hangover. Alex offered Nikki a bottle of water, of which she immediately downed half. She was going to feel like shit tomorrow, and she really did have no one to blame but herself.

* * *

Tasya pushed a glass of water over to Nikki, who had her head in her hands and was clearly feeling sorry for herself. The younger woman looked up, before taking it and having a small sip of the liquid that was offered to her.

“Thank you.”

“How’re you feeling?” Tasya questioned, sitting down beside her and making herself comfortable.

“Like shit.” Nikki groaned, scowling when the other woman laughed at her. “It’s not funny. My dad has a stupid way of bonding.”

Tas couldn’t help the amusement in her tone. She did find the whole situation rather funny.

“How’re you feeling aside from the hangover?”

“I still feel out of place.” Nikki admitted, raking a hand through her hair as she finished the glass of water, obviously hoping that it would help with her pounding headache. “Alex is my dad but we were never close. I grew up with my mum. Also my grandma. She’s kind of a big deal. But it also means I have a lot to live up, I guess.”

Tasya shrugged. She hadn’t grown up in a family where there were expectations or reputations for her to live up to. She didn’t love either of her parents, and resented her upbringing for many things, but she had a lot more freedom than what Nikki had.

“I’ll never know what that feels like.”

“What were your parents like?” Nikki was clearly curious about their medic.

Tasya clenched her jaw as she thought about her parents, choosing to look over Nikki’s wounds to busy her hands. She resented Nikki for her parentage, knowing that the younger woman had grown up loved and cared for.

“There’s not much to say.”

“I’m sorry. It’s obviously a painful topic. I must seem lucky.” Nikki mumbled, watching as she changed her bandages. “It’s almost healed.”

“It has.” Tasya nodded, fixing the new bandage tightly. “Need any pain relief?”

“I should be okay.” Nikki smiled, looking down at the fresh bandage. “If you hadn’t patched me up, would I have died?”

“Probably. Why?” Tasya shrugged, cleaning up the old bandages and walking over to the sink to wash her hands. She glanced over at Nikki, noticing how dejected she looked, offering her a small smile. “You’ll be fine.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad.” Nikki admitted, not that she knew much about medicine in any form. “I’m very lucky then. The rest of the crew weren’t.”

Tasya bit her lip, raking her hair back. She wasn’t quite sure what to say to the other woman’s comment.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” 

“Everyone loses people. I’ve been better off there than most.”

* * *

Nikki stood with her arms folded as the crew argued whether or not they should murder the spy they’d found aboard the  _ Rocinante _ . In truth, she didn’t really know what the best option was. She was more concerned with figuring out how the spy had gotten aboard, and what exactly he knew about them. Was he aware that she’d given the data cube to Fred Johnson, a secret she’d been trying to keep from the rest of the crew?

“He should die,” Amos insisted – which Nikki thought was typical of him. From what she’d observed, he was probably the most ruthless of the  _ Rocinante _ crew. “We can’t trust him, who knows what he’s already been telling people?”

“We’re not killing him,” Jim said firmly. That made sense – the captain didn’t really seem to be the sort to resort to murder unless it was absolutely necessary. The spy was looking between them all with eyes wide as saucers.

“I don’t think we should,” Nikki interjected, stepping forward from where she’d been leaning against the railing. No one had exactly asked her, but it felt nice to give her opinion anyway. Amos looked at her, apparently not thrilled about her interjection.

“Too bad your opinion has no weight here.”

Nikki noted that Tasya had remained silent throughout. Perhaps she didn’t want to weigh in on whether someone should live or die. Nikki had also noticed that she and Amos had become quite good friends, although she doubted Tasya agreed with his perspective in this particular matter.

“Amos.” Jim frowned, his voice indicating he was about to try and assert his authority. “I said no.”

“It’s not just up to you,” Amos argued.

“I agree we shouldn’t kill him,” Alex stated. Nikki glanced at her dad. His reaction didn’t surprise her either – Alex had a kind heart, and she couldn’t imagine him condoning random murder. The guy might be a spy, but until they knew exactly what he’d said and done, they didn’t really have any reason to kill him.

“I agree with Amos,” Naomi said, folding her arms and glaring at the spy, who opened his mouth to protest before he was cut off by Jim.

“For now, let’s just lock him up,” Jim suggested, his impatient tone indicating that he was done with the issue for the day.

“Fine, I’ll take him.” Amos marched out with the spy, pushing him in the back to keep him moving as they headed out from the bridge. The others similarly began to disperse, with Jim rubbing his chin before walking out. After a moment’s thought, Nikki followed him. He turned to face her, apparently surprised at her presence.

“So, do I not get a say in stuff?” she demanded.

“You do.” Jim sounded wary, as though he might regret that particular decision. “Why?”

Nikki shrugged. “Because I like exercising my right to free speech.”

Jim arched his eyebrows. “Oh, I’m aware.”

“Excuse me?” She was immediately on the defensive.

“You talk a lot,” Jim remarked, which wasn’t entirely a lie. Nikki had always been a chatterbox – her mother, Prisha, had said she was rambling on at a young age. It had mostly been baby nonsense at the beginning, but she’d always had something to say. It was one aspect of her personality that hadn’t really changed as she’d grown into adulthood.

“I suppose,” she admitted, her mind drifting back to the spy that Amos had taken down to lock up. She didn’t think she could get away with speaking to him alone, and neither did she think it would be advisable. The crew would probably be mad if they found out what she’d given to Fred, but for now, it was best to act as though she’d done nothing wrong.

* * *

Nikki walked onto the bridge, trying to replicate the determination she’d felt as an officer in the MCRN. She still didn’t quite gel with the crew yet, and felt that her presence stuck out painfully. She wouldn’t say she was unwanted, but there was an awkwardness to her interactions that marked her out as a stranger, a mixed-breed young woman who didn’t quite know her place now that she wasn’t on the  _ Donnager _ .

Jim was on the bridge, which didn’t entirely surprise Nikki. He was the one she wanted to talk to, after all. Nikki examined the captain with a critical eye. He was fairly young to be in command, probably around thirty. He was also attractive, although she was doing her best to avoid focusing on that.

“Can we talk?” she asked, drawing Jim’s attention away from the controls. “I need to send the information.”

They both knew she was referring to what had occurred on the  _ Donnager _ . With tensions rising between Earth and Mars, Nikki felt it was only right to clear things up. She might have given Fred Johnson the data cube – and she knew she risked punishment in doing so – but Mars deserved to be told what had happened from the perspective of someone who had been there.

Jim frowned. “What? No. We don’t know what’s going on yet.”

“I can relay what we do know.” Nikki was not one to back down at being told ‘no’, especially not by the captain of a ship that had technically been commandeered from the Martians. If not for the  _ Donnager _ , they wouldn’t even have the ship.

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Nikki scowled. She didn’t acknowledge Jim’s authority, and perhaps that was part of the problem here. “My captain gave me a duty to complete.”

She had survived for a reason, and she wanted to ensure that she felt she had achieved her purpose. She couldn’t have been the last woman standing. It would feel like an insult to those who died on the  _ Donnager _ .

“You’re on my ship,” Jim reminded her, as if she’d somehow forgotten, “So I am your captain.”

Nikki clenched her jaw. “You aren’t in charge of me.”

“You’re not sending the information.” Jim barred her path, as if concerned that she might decide to shove him aside and simply start transmitting. She was sorely tempted. She raised her eyebrows coolly.

“Or you’ll shoot me?” she challenged. She really didn’t think he had the heart to enforce his point, but she also wasn’t about to push it. When people were desperate, they could do things they wouldn’t normally.

“If I have to.”

“My crew died so that I could get this information to Mars.” Nikki tried to make Jim understand the urgency, but he just raked a hand through his hair and sighed. Perhaps they hadn’t solved the whole mystery yet. Maybe they knew enough for Nikki to at least alert others.

“We don’t have all the information,” Jim insisted. “I’m trying to protect my crew.”

“I get it.” Nikki cocked her head to the side. “But once we find out the truth, I’m reporting back.”

Jim was not convinced. “We’ll evaluate the situation then.”


End file.
